Have you just received the most painful news of your life from your husband? Have you just discovered that your partner, lover and best friend has a sexual addiction? Are you feeling lonely, rejected, shamed, angry, hurt, misunderstood and betrayed? We want you to know more and more women are discovering this, and you are not alone!
Katherine is a woman, just like you, who experienced a very similar journey. Her husband’s addiction to pornography and masturbation was a huge part of their marriage of more than thirty years. Complicating things further, after 15 years his sexual addiction secretly spiraled out of control into eight years of affairs, internet sex chats, phone sex, same sex attraction, ultimately leading to the illegal downloading of child pornography and his arrest.
Some of you may find yourself relating to Katherine’s story. For more on her journey, check out Marsha Mean’s book, “Your Sexually Addicted Spouse.”
Katherine’s experiences led her to seek training in a wide variety of places. As a Coach, she has her certification from AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) in Treating Sexual Addiction, Marriage Works, Caring for People God’s Way and Breaking Free.
In addition, she is a Stephen Ministry Leader (pastoral care ministry) in her church. She is a THRIVE Restarting and Belonging co-facilitator, and she uses the Immanuel Process in helping people heal from heartache and trauma in their lives. The THRIVE (Life Model) approach uses new breakthroughs in neuroscience to help people overcome addiction and heal from trauma.
For many years Katherine was also part of the ministry team at Ellel Ministries, and gave talks on Forgiveness and the Amour of God. In addition, for six years she ran a women’s group dealing with husbands’ sexual addiction. She was able to duplicate herself, and now the group is run by someone who formerly went through the group with Katherine. Currently, she is tracking to become a lay minister in her church, and she does ministry using the Immanuel Process, which has become one of the many “arrows” in her quiver.
Her husband’s arrest and the subsequent revelation of how far he had gone in his addiction came as a huge shock to Katherine. To make things worse, her church family was so ill-equipped to accept and support her that they asked her to stop attending. Prior to this revelation, Katherine and her husband were both leaders in the church. Not only did she lose her spiritual family, she lost her home, their finances, many friends, and ended up moving away from the area due to the consequences of the criminal record. These consequences are still being felt today. She has dealt with his intimacy anorexia over the last 18 years of her 34 years of marriage, and is now divorced and living close to her children.
From her own experience, her heart grew heavy for women who were going through similar things. After a couple years of personal healing, God began to work on Katherine, and she felt the call on her life from Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim the captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”
God has been faithful in that calls, and over the past several years Katherine has been helping women heal their own pain. She feels honoured and humbled by the trust women give her as she strives to be “Jesus with skin on” in their lives. She invites women to share their heartache with her by saying, “Let’s walk this journey together!”
Areas of Specialty: Sexual anorexia Partner’s Healing Journey support groups; International telephone support groups for women living outside the United States and Canada who cannot find resources in their own countries.